For a better understanding of the situation, let me explain.
My fiancee is 8 years older than I (I will call her Lynn). When we met, she was trying to get out of an abusive marriage to an ex marine dishonorably discharged for relevant reasons. I was roughly 17 at the time when we became close -still a minor. Fast forward a year. I had helped her with the circumstances by being there when she needed someone to speak to. She began standing up for herself. He took that as a loss of control and didn’t take too kindly to it so he filed false police reports making allegations that she had been stealing money from his tax returns which were later dismissed. Next he began with nonstop harassment with cell phone jammers, listening devices and verbal abuse at all hours of the night -which were soon reported and led to a simple slap on the wrist. Finally, he went as far as breaching her personal computer’s pw with a help of a friend who owns his own computer gaming shop, filled it with child pornography, and called it in saying she was in possession of it with the explanation that she had coerced me into a relationship with her as a way to incriminate her further. She managed to officially divorce approx. 6 months before she was charged with that. Before that, we engaged when I was 19, she was 27.
We barely made bail with my family’s help but didn’t have the financial needs to hire a private attorney. The public defender assigned to her case convinced her it would be hard to disprove what little evidence was stacked against her to a jury, resulting in her pleading no contest a year later. I spoke with the prosecutor before the change of plea date, explained to the best of my knowledge what had happened (as I had the right, considering I was the "victim") and was able to get the possession charge dropped. Instead they stuck her with a Child Abuse charge, which in the state of FL is a felony. Along with the 3 years probation she was given, special conditions were included to attend a sex offender class without the need to register.
She attended her first group session earlier today. The location she was assigned to is not listed in the probation office’s computer and looked more like a house than mental health care practice in person. There were only 2 staff members that I could count….a female consultant and the desk clerk.
She introduced herself, explained why she was in there.
The consultant was less than friendly. First, she denied Lynn the right to call me by my name much less address me as her fiance, instead she is only permitted to classify me as ‘her victim’. She argues that Lynn manipulated me to stay with her, that she’s nothing but a mother-figure to me. She asked Lynn what I’m doing about a job as we’re both currently unemployed and living with friends, Lynn told her that I am processing to start basic training in the Army. Her response was that I’m just going to disappear and leave Lynn wondering where I’m at, that she should let me go and admit she has a problem.
She told Lynn that all she’s doing is grooming me to stay with her, and that at my age (20) I’m just a child and don’t know better. She says our relationship is unhealthy, despite however many years we’ve been together.
Anyway, you get the idea.
As far as my understanding, a Mental Health Counselor is there to assess your state of mind and identify possible disorders or personality issues. From there, the group sessions are meant for several individuals to express their situations and find support amongst themselves in order to progress with their treatment and recover. A consultant may ask questions here and there, address certain answers if more explanation is needed and so on.
As far as I can tell though, this woman has done nothing except harass the hell out of my fiancee and, when asked a question, disregarded the most direct answers Lynn had given by replying with more put-downs. Personally I would consider that verbal abuse, and, since it was during an open group therapy, public humiliation.
Does that really fall within policies or is she breaching professional conduct? I’m just shocked at what little support practices like this actually have to offer as they’re in no way promoting anything positive for the ones who do need the moral support